How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?
This question can be looked at in so many different ways. I've been thinking about it for a good week now, and I guess it would honestly depend. I'm such a complicated person, and there are always moments where I swear I could be 13 again. For the most part though, I act older than most people I know.
It would be safe to say that I definitely am always trying to grow up fast. I've been that way my whole life. I think that in general I act like I'm about 30, maybe a few years younger. I am a working mom who is trying to finish up school. I'd prefer not to go out, and I like to drink occasionally, at home.
If you were to look at me, most people I -know- think I'm younger than 22. Most people in stores don't even card me. I'll bet I look more my age than I think, unless Anabell is with me, and then people think I'm 30, which is just fine with me.
As for the whole 13 thing, that was just a really horrendous year for me. Really. Terrible. But I've moved on. There are some scars that run deep, though, and some subjects that I point blank refuse to discuss. I've been in and out of therapy for years, but honestly, the therapists just prescribe me anti anxiety medication and tell me not to think about it which really works for me. Sometimes, it's ok to walk away from something that you just Can't discuss. So, with that in mind, every time I am reminded of whatever said events may be, I act like that age again. Down to a T. I will cry, pitch fits, cut people out of my life in the most dramatic way possible, oh it's pretty terrible.
But that's very rare, and every year that I am with R, he makes magic happen and helps me slowly yet surely work through every single issue of mine. Bless him.
How old do you think other's perceive you? How old would you be if you didn't know your own age?
No comments:
Post a Comment