#2- 50 Questions That Will Free My Mind

 #2 Which is worse, failing or never trying?

Honestly, for me... never trying. I don't see anything in life as truly failing, because I always try. At least once. I've been known to be impulsive or a risk taker, or whatever, but at least I know in my heart that I've lived my life. I'm raising Anabell to try everything at least once, and if she hates it, that's ok, but she's at least gotta try. 

It's how I've lived my life. As a child, if we showed interest in something, we got to try it (and yes, that is totally being spoiled and I am so incredibly lucky to have parents that could just Do whatever we wanted), but we had to stick with it for however long the program was. Community theater? Had to try it for the summer. I remember the One time I dropped out, and my parents made me go to the show and sit in the audience, thank the teacher, and Then I could stop going after that. But when they learned that I was skipping rehearsal, that was my punishment. I was so embarrassed to go to the show! But it taught me well.  I learned that I couldn't ever just walk away without trying. Thanks mom and dad!

Everything with parenthood is like that, there are moments where I feel like nothing I do is right and that I'm a total failure as a mother, but then she'll smile at me and I know that I'm doing well. Or, I'll just go to the grocery store and see other young moms and how their children are and I'll just smile at them. It's sort of catty, but hey. Whatever works.

That's the thing right now, for me at least, is really learning to try. REALLY HARD. Because there are so many different views on parenting and how to do it and what's right and blah blah blah whatever the fuck I really Don't care. The best advice I ever got about parenting came from my sister, Kim. The letter she wrote me is on my fridge so that when I have really, really tough days, I can read it. Here's what she said, "....Know that you will get much advice, but you will have to find your own way to be a mother. Your way will be the right way. Your inability to save your child from everything, even the influence of you, as a parent, will have you wailing at times. But you are the right mother for this baby [and] you must hold on to that." 

Everyone that is a mother, Makayla, Lauren, Chelsea, Samantha, Adriana, the list goes on.... know this: You are doing the very best for your little one(s) and you're doing a fantastic job. Don't ever lose sight of that.  

Thanks Kim. I've learned much from you, Tina, and Chris already... and there's so much more to come. My goal is that Anabell is just as happy and wonderful as Haley and Grant are. You guys are amazing.